Writer's Block--I Has It; Lots of Time--I Has it Not

Dad, you asked me if I'd given up blogging because I hadn't posted in a while. Well, not exactly, but here are my thoughts lately on that subject:

Not being able to sit down daily and dash off witty, thought-provoking blog posts without a lot of effort is a great source of frustration for me. To be honest, I read very few mommy blogs who post daily that accomplish that feat so I console myself with the fact that it must be a rare mommy blogger who can actually accomplish daily posting with style. I say mommy blogger specifically because I'm not concerned with comparing myself to those who professionally blog or make their living blogging or writing daily in some other venue.

I've come to the conclusion that I couldn't be a professional writer, at least not at this point in my life, because writing, for me, takes an enormous amount of effort and brain power. That last statement makes me sound like a dunce which I don't think I am, but neither am I a genius. The problem is that everybody and their brother/sister/mother seems to think they can write and have something worthwhile to relate. I fear falling into that category--coming across as if what I'm writing is so interesting that it needs to be published on a blog, but in reality it is only mediocre at best. I fear mediocrity; therefore, I don't often post because when I actually sit down to post something, the spark of genius that my thought seemed to be in my head, somehow dies when I try to capture it in words. That's one reason very few people know about this blog of mine. Plus, blogging takes time. To post even mediocrity on a daily basis takes time. I'm only taking time now because I'm too sick to do anything but sit here and think about all the posts I haven't had the time to write, but probably wouldn't even if I did have time because apparently I'm paralyzed by my fear of mediocrity. Sounds like I have some issues with perfectionist tendencies and/or pride.

I suppose if I were more disciplined I could get up earlier and have the quiet, morning hours before my family awoke to ponder my deep thoughts and write blog posts. Of course, I don't think all posts should be deep, but I'm just not very good at being funny although I'm pretty good at being shallow. In a former blog of mine I tried to post daily. I will say that doing so seemed to keep my writing sharper, at least in my own estimation of it, but it kept me up very late and other aspects of my life suffered. When something like blogging, or any hobby for that matter, interfers with keeping up with my housework or interacting with my family then it takes too much time. Yet, I feel taking time to express oneself creatively whether via blogging, scrapbooking, photography, journaling, etc., etc., is an important part of feeding one's creativity--you know, hyacinths for the soul and all that. And, therein lies the sticking point. Any creative endeavor worth doing is worth doing well. We are created in the image of a creative God. Yet, to do something well takes time, sometimes a lot of time. Balance is the key, of course. Balance is something I'm not good at achieving. But I also think balancing one's priorities also means knowing what is most important right now. Right now, writing daily on my blog isn't a high priority. Ideas for blog posts seem to be crowded out by ideas for homeschooling or ideas for our next read-aloud. I'm not going to look back in twenty years and wish I'd blogged more. I will regret any time taken away from my priorities right now--my family. Balance for me means putting aside some of my creative projects so that I can focus on my ultimate creative projects--my kids. Yet, that doesn't have to mean neglecting the feeding of one's soul. I still read. In fact, I probably read more now than I have in a long time. I crochet which I enjoy a lot except when I'm inundated by request to make tons of little crocheted octopi as I have been lately.

Maybe one of these days I'll achieve enough balance to be able to blog daily, read daily, read aloud daily to my kids, perfect my cooking skills, write poetry, read poetry, homeschool, exercise, keep up with the housework, and everything else I would like to accomplish in my lifetime.